I don't wanna live, but i'm too scared to die?

I hate living. Life pretty much sucks right now. I hate waking up in the morning. I have tried therapy and they never work out. Don't wanna try medicine, they turn people into zombies. My brain, my mind, my soul, andmy body are tired of this world so, I wanna commit suicide, but i'm way to scared to. I've been sarching the internet on ways to die, but all I keep getting is help hotlines....which I am NOT interested in. What do I do? Anyone know any legit sites that help you commit suicide w/o pain? I tried the Hemlock Society's page, but they want you to call and peak to someone...i think it's a trick, so I haven't tried yet....please help.